Many of us are Smartphone junkies. You know what? We have good reasons. Here are nine reasons you can’t live without your Smartphone in 2015.
You Have No Idea Where You Are
People used to actually get around in the world without GPS. But look at how long it took them to do it! Lewis and Clark spent about four years crossing the country. You do not have time for that nonsense.
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Seriously, How Else Can You Find a Date?
Whether you’re into Tinder, Grindr, or OKCupid, you need a smartphone to find a date. You don’t want to meet someone in a scuzzy bar. You don’t need the drama of dating someone at work. Blind dates are just the worst. Your Smartphone will help you weed out the people you don’t like so you can focus on someone who meets your needs for the long-haul… or for the next few hours. Whatever.
Obviously Everyone is Obsessed With Your Dinner
That donut you ate this morning was so delicious that everyone in the world needs to know about it. Plus, you had coffee from your favorite café. Obviously everyone’s going to want to know about these culinary delights. You have to give the people what they want.
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You Never Know When Your Pet Will Do Something Awesome
Tired of your pet spending money without contributing anything to the household income? It’s time to tell your pooch to stop acting like such a mooch! Having a Smartphone on you makes it easier to catch him or her doing something amazing. Slap the video on YouTube and start making money on advertising.
With the crazy amount of options for smartphones these days, you don’t even need much money to start building your Cute Pet Empire. Carriers like T-Mobile have phones under $100 that come with high-resolution cameras and enough space to catch your pet whenever he or she does something cute, funny, or insanely stupid.
Life is Too Boring Without Digital Distractions
As far as anyone can tell, life before smartphones involved little more than tedious work and staring blankly during your off hours. Life is too boring without electronic distractions. What do people without smartphones even do with their lives?
Someone is Always Trying to Beat Your High Score
Someone out there wants to crush your Candy Crush score. You cannot let that happen no matter what it takes.
Traffic Sucks and You Need to Avoid It
People who live in one of the U.S.’s top ten most-congested cities waste about 47 hours a year sitting in traffic. A lot of that time is spent driving to work. It’s almost like working without getting paid. At least it feels that way. The worst part is that we all know it will get worse. Eventually, some of us will spend half our lives sitting in cars.
Forget that. Download a good GPS app for your Smartphone so you can avoid congested roads. Every minute you spend not in a car is a minute that you can spend doing something that doesn’t make you want to smash into other people.
Stupid Boss Monitors Your Internet Activity
There’s no such thing as privacy at work these days. If you use a computer at your job, your boss is checking out every site you visit to make sure it’s job-related. Heaven forbid that you should spend a few minutes of fun online!
With smartphones, you don’t have to worry about your mean boss. You can go online whenever you want. You can visit any site you want. No one will ever know (especially if you surf the Internet from the privacy of a bathroom stall)!
Besides, Your Work Computer is too Old to Even Play YouTube Videos
Even if your boss gets really relaxed about what sites you visit during the workday, you’re still stuck at work with a “vintage” computer that can’t even stream a YouTube video. Your Smartphone can run circles around a decade-old Mac. When you have a break or secret lull in the day, your phone will help you stay entertained
The better your phone is, the more fulfilling your life is. You just have to pity the old people who don’t understand.